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My girlfriend’s sister wants to sleep with me
What you need to know:
- Make your relationship a priority and spend more time with your girlfriend to deepen your bond and show your commitment to each other. If her sister continues to pursue you, let her know that you are involving her sister in the matter, even though it may be tough if she insists on pursuing you.
Recently, my girlfriend’s sister told me she loves me and wants to have sex with me. I do not want to do such a thing and yet I fear telling my girlfriend about it because I do not want to cause a rift between them. What should I do? Duncan
Dear Duncan,
This is a tough situation that requires you to be in touch with your values. Your decision means a lot for your relationship and it is important to keep good relations while also setting boundaries.
Finding the best way and time to tell your girlfriend is crucial for protecting yourself from any potential trap set by your girlfriend’s sister. Telling her will help you be accountable and gain confidence in rejecting any insinuations from her sister.
Understand that there may or may not be consequences. Your girlfriend may appreciate your honesty if she is secure and trusting, but if she is insecure or jealous, it could cause a fight. Consider these factors to plan better and reassure her about your love for her.
Honesty is always the best policy. And if you are in a sticky situation where being honest feels nearly impossible, remember that lying is the worst thing you can do while building trust. You can choose to not answer a question or to omit the truth when needed, but you should never flat-out lie.
Creating a distance between you and her sister might also help. Avoid being alone with her in places that could put you on the spot.
Make your relationship a priority and spend more time with your girlfriend to deepen your bond and show your commitment to each other. If her sister continues to pursue you, let her know that you are involving her sister in the matter, even though it may be tough if she insists on pursuing you.
Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where there is love and respect.
Also, if your sister-in-law is leaving with you, I would just suggest telling her to move out as soon as possible. It may be harsh but unless there is a real good reason for her being there, you need to leave with your girlfriend. In my experience, the problem does not just disappear because you put your mind off it all the time.
Evelyn Khorono Lufafa is a counselling psychologist with Sermotherapy Counselling Foundation
