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The Musokes’ relationship was built on mutual understanding
Moses Kato Musoke and Regina Namukasa.
What you need to know:
- The Musokes met 50 years ago and with time they got to understand each other’s differences and learnt to live together. After 11 years, they tied a knot and today, they celebrate 39 years of staying together.
Moses Kato Musoke was the head of the Cocoa project of Kyagwe county (present day Kasawo) when he first saw Regina Namukasa. Regina was living with her sister in a house across the road where Moses rented.
He remarks that when he saw a beautiful light-skinned girl just across, he had no second thoughts. “She was very beautiful and unlike today, we did not have those things of dating. I went straight to her and told her my intentions. She is the woman I admired first,” says Moses.
So innocent and young, Regina gladly accepted Moses for a husband even though they had different religious backgrounds. Moses was Seventh-day Adventist while Regina belonged to the Roman Catholic Church but because they were bound by love, they did not let this to stand in their way.
She then introduced him to her parents and relatives who consented that the two who whose age difference was only five years could start staying together as husband and wife in April 1973.
“Her parents were very welcoming and took me in as their child. When I saw her family, they consented that we stay together as husband and wife. I was earning a salary of Shs 460 and a bicycle allowance of Shs60. This was enough to sustain us because although we rented the house, I was responsible for agriculture in the whole county and every time I went to the field, people gave me food supplies and this kept us going,” he recounts.
By the time they started living together, the two did not have much. “We were really poor but happy. I knew that it was very important to respect my husband and be there for him. So many people did not know our financial status because we loved each other genuinely,” she recalls.
In the same year, the couple moved from their initial residence because the county had constructed houses for them. In 1974, they had their first baby and while Moses continued with his agricultural work, Regina became a stay home mother who passionately cared for her children.
Between 1975 and 1977, Musoke pursued a diploma in agriculture at Bukalasa Agricultural College but continued to work for the county.
After some time, with savings from his salary and total support from his wife, he built a home for his sick mother in Buzibwera, Kikyusa and many of her relatives depended on him for financial support.
Legally married after seeking refuge
When war broke out in 1980, the couple and their three children fled their home and sought refuge at his uncle’s place in Busiika in June 1982.
In January 1983, Musoke started teaching at Bugema Adventist Secondary School as an agriculture teacher because he was one of the best performing old student of the school and since he had attained other qualifications, he was hired as a teacher and administrator of the school.
While in Busiika, Regina thereafter decided to convert, gave her life to Christ and became Seventh-day Adventist and in 1984, the two were joined in holy matrimony after living together for 11 years.
“He had taught me about the Bible and I decided to convert so that we raise children who have similar religious values. He had also been so good to me and legalisng our marriage made our love even grow stronger,” she says.
In Busiika, he started three shops for his wife to help support the education of their children. It is also from these shops that Regina paid tuition and school fees for her husband while he was at Makerere University where he attained a bachelor’s degree in Agriculture in 1997 to 2000 as well as their children. The couple were blessed with more children including twins.
When he retired in 2016, Moses became a translator from the Summer Institute of Linguistics. He works with the Bible Society of Uganda in Nakasongola during the week days and only comes to his home in Bugema only on weekends.
Despite the weekly movements, Regina is never worried that her husband will see other women. She remarks that they have been a peaceful couple and treat each other with respect.
“We have fights but we have over time learnt to resolve them without involving the children. My husband has never raised his voice or hand on me. He usually goes to work but I know he is safe and that he will come back to me at the end of the week. We communicate during the week and I know everything about him even when he is not with me,” she says.
The secrets
Mr Musoke remarks that one of the things that has kept them happily married is the fact that they took time to learn each other. “It takes time to understand your partner but the time is worth investing. We understood each other. I know her best meal and she knows mine too. I know the things that make her happy or sad and angry. It keeps us in peace and harmony to avoid unnecessary quarrels,” he says.
Regina notes that , many families today are breaking up because either of the partners is impatient. “One of the virtues that has kept us together is patience. Life is full of difficulties and since we started as a very young couple with a five-year-age difference, we did not have much. We have however, worked together and been able to achieve a lot,” says Regina adding that , “I would also like to warn men and women that are married that it is very wrong to bad-mouth your partner.
Never discuss issues about your partner with your family or friends because they will never respect him. While there were many options, you chose to love that person, if they have any faults, politely ask them to change or just learn to live with them.”
