Prime
How one man became a prostitute
What you need to know:
Drawing from his experience, one man comes out to tell people with financial challenges to restrain themselves from doing “just anything” to solve their immediate money problems. He spoke to Esther Oluka how he became a male prostitute.
Last year on December 4, Daily Monitor published a story of a 19-year-old man who was mistreated by both his father and step mother.
Kizza (not real surname) was tortured to the extent that he even contemplated suicide. Eventually, he ran away from home onto the streets and was later taken under the care of Pastor Josephine Nalubega Kitonekiya of Revival Wonders Edens Glory Church in Rubaga, Kampala. She gave him shelter, food and money for upkeep. As much as she provided for him, he also went out to do various odd jobs, including roasting chicken and working as a houseboy in order to get money to attain an education. He went through high school, completing his A-Level at Sam Iga Memorial College in Maganjo.
Later on, he enrolled at Islamic University in Uganda, Kampala campus. However, he faced a big challenge raising tuition, which amounted to about Shs1.2m per semester during his first year. Since he was determined to study, he went out once again in search of means of acquiring the money.
Today, the story of Kizza who is now aged 20, takes a new twist, after he started offering sexual favours to men who used and abused him:
“I was very desperate to get money to pay my tuition while at university. I had managed to raise only Shs318,000 out of the Shs1.2m that was required. If I did not raise the remaining balance, it meant that I was not going to be allowed to sit for my examinations. I told some of my friends who were outside the university about my tight situation and they offered to introduce me to people who would help. I met them at various social events, including parties that I normally attended with my friends.
Some ended up becoming my friends. From time to time, they would call me up to inquire about how I was doing and how studies were. I was open about my state and would tell them that school was challenging because I had no tuition. They would be empathetic and promised to help improve the situation for the better. I was shocked when some of these men shamelessly and boldly said they would give me money in case I agreed to have sex with them. I was quite shocked by the suggestion. I was hearing it for the first time. I did not know what to do. I was confused. Out of fear, I kept the information to myself. The examination time was drawing closer and I needed money urgently. I did not want to get a dead year just because I had failed to get tuition. So, I made up my mind to sleep with the men at different occasions. Honestly, I was reluctant but at that point, I had no choice. The men were clear about one thing. They use me but I do not use them. The whole experience was very painful, agonising and traumatising. I would bleed endlessly.
The “peanuts” payment
Can you imagine what each one of them ended up paying me? It was only a small amount of money. The lowest payment I received was Shs500 while the highest was Shs5,000. I remember one paying me Shs2000. This made me very frustrated. How could they do that to me? After having sex with me, this is what they ended up paying me. I was very angry.
And this was all happening at the time of the deadline of paying tuition. With no money at hand, I had no other option than to drop out of university this year. I also immediately terminated my relationship and contact with the men.
I started from scratch once again by going to the streets begging from sympathisers.
I found it really embarrassing since I had already been through school and sometimes I bumped into people that I already knew. It was until someone that I randomly met introduced me to one of the renowned pastors in Kampala whose name I prefer not to mention. I told him about what I had gone through. He counselled me and is still doing that up to now.
Also, I was able to find myself a place to stay in Wakaliga, a Kampala surburb. It is a one-roomed rental apartment and I pay Shs45,000 monthly.
It is where I stay till now. I work in a school and that is how I am able to get money to take care of myself and pay for my rent.
The complication that rose from his actions
Despite the job, the money is not enough for treating the ailment that I got because of engaging in such a practice. I have a rectal prolapse (a condition in which the rectum or the lower end of the colon, located just above the anus becomes stretched out and protrudes outside the anus therefore resulting into the leakage of either stool or mucus).
This condition makes me very uncomfortable since I experience pain most of the time. On the other hand, I also was diagnosed with gonorrhoea, a sexually transmitted disease which I am receiving medication for as well. The doctors advised me to stay away from eating hard food like cassava and potatoes because they tend to have a way of always forcing the rectum out whenever I am defecating.
Therefore, I eat only soft food like rice and matooke (bananas) which are easy to pass out after digestion. When some of my friends heard my story, they abandoned me. They no longer wanted to associate with me because of what I did. I was left with no other option rather than distance myself from them as well.
The reason why he is sharing his story
I do not want any boy out there to go through what I have been through. It is hell. I came out to tell my story because I want them to know how bad and ugly a situation can turn out to be whenever one becomes desperate and decides to go along with any idea someone proposes to them to make money.
The other reason I came out is because I want parents to know that they should play a pivotal role in raising their children. They should listen and care for them. I strongly believe that if my father and step mother had loved and not mistreated me, I would not have ended up in this kind of mess.”
A counsellor’s take
How one can stop prostitution…
Jean Kyomugisha Nuwagaba, a counselling psychologist based at Care Counselling Centre says:
• Completely terminate the relationships with the men one had once has sexual relations with. Cutting communication easily helps one to move on with their life and form more healthy relationships.
• Seek counselling services from professional counsellors who will guide you on how to restore your life back.
• Nurture your spirituality through prayer. Also, seek intervention from various religious leaders who pray and give you advice.
