Author, Stella Riunga Rop.
Brethren, have you ever tried to hide an elephant in your house? Well, I have come to the realisation that trying to hide my plump self is just as impossible, unless I suddenly turn into a chameleon.
A casual glance at my lineage confirms that the chances of my becoming tall and willowy were one in two million, so here we are. There comes an age where one must admit to oneself who they are and who they are not, and with this comes freedom. Aside from the usual silly questions (“What are they feeding you, you are really growing big!”
Answer: “The same thing they have refused to feed you: A full plate of mind your own business.”) being plump is not all that bad.
The first benefit to living on the rotund side of life is that we already score 100 percent in disaster preparation and management.
Should the worst come to the worst, we could live off our inbuilt fat reserves, no need for food.
While our more angular brothers and sisters would be dropping like flies, we would be humming along nicely, ready to tell the harrowing tales of how we survived.
Another plus to being more generously endowed is that you develop a thick skin—metaphorically speaking, ha ha!
There is something about living life in a larger body that attracts all sorts of unsolicited comments; some of them well meaning, many of them not. As much as it hurts, it has also taught us the art of the comeback. I will share a few favourites here.
Unsolicited comment: Wow, life must be treating you well!
Answer: Thank you so much! Is life treating you at all or did it leave you to die?
Unsolicited comment: Are you watching your weight?
Answer: Oh, can I find it on Netflix?
Unsolicited comment: I can see your husband is feeding you well.
Answer: Yes he is, I stopped feeding myself ages ago, he does it so much better than I ever did.
So dear plump one, stop killing yourself with waist trainers, starvation diets and concealing attire in somber colours. Live your plump life freely!
