Prime
Is divorce a threat to the church?
What you need to know:
DILEMMA. Your church wishes you a lifetime of love that grows within God’s protection. But some marriages do fail for all sorts of sad and painful reasons as the church seems to be stringent on remarrying. Some marriage partners have resorted to abandoning their “rigid” faith and opted for more liberal approaches. Isn’t this dangerous? Peter Mwayi and
Rachel Mabala delve into the issue.
Marriage, even in the prevailing situation of rampant divorce and separation is still a good thing. Pundits have written that it is so, that even children play games of marrying. At the end of the game, one child will go home dissatisfied because the playmate could not play their way.
Does this explain the question of divorce; is it now being caused by the ease with which people commit themselves to an institution so detailed and yet so complex. Roderick Phillips, in his book, Untying the Knot, writes that in the past, people took time before committing themselves, this therefore meant that the chances of a separation or divorce were as good as none at all.
In the church and in the laws of Uganda, a married couple can part ways in three ways; divorce, annulment or separation. Unlike separation where a couple seeks to simply part ways and live separate lives, with divorce and annulment, the couple seeks to remarry someone else. Divorce for this purpose is defined as the total dissolution of a validly contracted or celebrated marriage, vis a vie annulment which is declaring a marriage as though it never existed.
The question we seek to explore is the one on divorce for the Christian couple. When couples find themselves in a situation that they must part ways, must they be denied the opportunity to find new partners to settle with simply because they have been in a previous union?
On its part, the Church has made itself very clear on the matter; divorce is forbidden. Pope John Paul II while describing the gravity of divorce on the dignity of marriage, referred to it as “the plague of divorce,” clearly indicating its magnitude on tearing the church apart.
The Christian stance is derived from the Bible which states in Mathew 19:9, “And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery.”
Church stance
In April 2002, Uganda’s ex-vice president Dr Specioza Kazibwe filed for divorce from her husband, she was quoted in the media saying that she refused to be the victim of continued domestic violence. Mr Kazibwe opposed the divorce, citing his Catholic faith.
For church to grant couples divorce a number of factors must be considered. Unfaithfulness is lead on the list. But how does one prove this unfaithfulness without going through an embarrassing episode of revelations.
Rev. Emmanuel Mwesigwa, the chaplain of St Kakumba Chapel, Kyambogo explains that the church does not refuse divorce per se, however, considering how tedious the process of divorce is, church encourages the couple to try and work the matters out before they resort to divorce which is the final blow.
“The church does not stop anyone from divorcing in fact the church permits divorce with due reasons from the partners. The church assists the state in marrying two people and you know that with divorce comes legal provisions so in as much as people complain about the church not permitting them to divorce, the process of a divorce is tedious making it an opportunity for us as the church to teach and counsel people and hence these become advantages to us,” Rev Mwesigwa explains, adding: “People with a liberal view decide to walk out of the church and continue with their lives while for those with a conservative view about the church make it stronger.”
It is apparent that Church will not refuse two people to divorce since divorce is more of a legal matter than religious; however the matter rotates around remarrying after divorce. Asked whether they would stick in church and remain unmarried, a few Christians this magazine spoke to said the matter would become choosing the church or choosing to move on with one’s life.
“Since there are other options for me to get remarried if Church stops me, I will, albeit unwillingly, take those options. I would either go to the Registrar and marry from there or go to a Pentecostal church which is more liberal,” says Micheal, a married Anglican.
It is also apparent that the church is under attack from all sides as far as the divorce question is concerned, with people taking it to the courts to be allowed to marry again. There are many cases reported of wedding ceremonies being interrupted by a disgruntled ‘ex’ halting a wedding since there was no recognised separation in church.
What the law says
The law however, will not refuse to consenting adults to separate.
As Irene Nassuuna, an advocate explains, with the ever growing religious affiliations, chances are that the people will seek an alternative way of marrying if one way has failed to work.
“Uganda is a multi-religious state this means that our country does not subscribe to any particular religion. Therefore, what governs us is the law not necessarily religion thus if court grants you a divorce, the church cannot deny one the right to divorce in as much as one got married in the church, he or she is allowed to get married in another church after being granted divorce by court. In effect, we are not bound by religion,” says Nassuuna.
It is not, however, a question of walk in, walk out. Court, just like church will give a couple the opportunity to work things out as Nassuuna explains.
“Due to the nature of the system and bureaucracy in the courts of law the process is quite lengthy because once one applies for divorce, then the court gives you an interim divorce (temporary separation) which is a period of six months for the couple to pursue an understanding. Failure on the side of the couple to settle or work things out in this period compels court to grant them what we call an absolute divorce,” she says.
The world is a dynamic place; calls for reform are everywhere, more so in the church. With the already innumerable factors that are turning Christians away from their traditional ways and beliefs, does the church need to restrict itself anymore on divorce?
Quran 65:1-8
O Prophet! when ye do divorce women, divorce them at their prescribed periods, and count (accurately), their prescribed periods: and fear Allah your Lord: and turn them not out of their houses, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some open lewdness. Those are limits set by Allah: and any who transgresses the limits of Allah, does verily wrong his (own) soul: thou knowest not if perchance Allah will bring about thereafter some new situation.
Do you think divorce is a threat to the church?
Absolutely. Divorce means divide yet the church is called to unite. When divorce is not dealt with, there is no way the centre hold can prevail. Divorce is revealing horrible things that we did not know were going on privately in lives of church people. Jesus said that divorce is sin- no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Having known that it is sin, we must remember that sin does not build but destroys, the same way divorce is not only threatening but also destroying the centre-hold of the traditional church.
Pastor Rod Cyrus
No. The church does not deny anyone divorce. The church permits divorce with due reasons from the partners. It church assists the state in marrying two people and with divorce comes legal provisions. The process of divorce is tedious making it an opportunity for the church to teach and counsel people. These favour us because the liberal people will decide to walk out of the church and move on while the conservatives make the church stronger.”
Rev. Emmanuel Mwesigwa
Yes, it is.Most of the women in America for instance are married with the 3rd, 4th or 5th man. I‘m sure this shall come to Uganda soon given that most of them are educated and want to have their freedom but at the same time they want husbands. With education, some women have resources they can use to make their lives better without depending on their husbands. In that case, educated women are independent.
Brother Denis Katusiime
