Paul and Lydia Mugambi: 60-year-old enduring love

“Many parents go dancing and forget their children. Alcoholism has destroyed a lot of families and caused instabilities in home. They must watch out,” Lydia sternly says.

The love birds tied the knot on September 14, 1963 and hosted their guests at the Queen’s Court, Makerere University in Kampala. Their connection started from their parents’ friendship in their childhood. Paul and Lydia grew to like each other, understand and later on cherish each other.

When they joined Makerere University, they pursued the same course Education, and later on became teachers. Paul studied mathematics while she studied Art. And as much as the two celebrated years of friendship, it was that closeness that anchored a love so beautiful because sooner than later, feelings came into play and they could not resist them.

They had the unspoken blessing of their parents and families and each knew the other inside out. There was no way they were going to let go of one another because they liked each other for who and what they were and would naturally love each other for what they had built over the years- friendship.

Wedding  preps

The sixty one years have not melted that union. Two hours in their presence, at their home in the rather quiet Kizungu neighbourhood of Makindye, a Kampala suburb, is telling.

The jokes, the complimenting conversations in which they remind one another of past events and friends, and more is all foolproof that nothing is going to change the course of the wind of the couple’s love.

One of the subjects that bring them alive is one of their wedding day. He says the preparation was exciting because they did it along with their parents, who were only too happy to support them.

The preparatory conversations were about who would be part of their wedding entourage, choice of best man and matron. He did not propose to her, arguing that it is a ‘European idea’.

“There was no point of proposal. We had all agreed informally and formally as the relationship itself grew,” Paul explains. Interestingly, the couple did not have an organising committee, as is common norm in preparing for a wedding today.

“We prepared it ourselves, with consultation from our friends. We relied so much on our parents when it came to financial matters. None of our friends contributed to our wedding,” Paul delightfully recollects.

The entire budget of the wedding was financed by their parents in addition to their savings.

“We were working and had some savings from our salaries,” he adds.

 The couple add that their parents strongly agreed that their marriage be celebrated at St Paul’s Cathedral, Namirembe.

Bishop Misaeri Kawuma  assisted by the Rev Musajja Akaawa officiated at the wedding. After tying the knot, they proceeded to Makerere University where they hosted friends and family to a reception that went on up to 6pm.

Honeymoon

“We went for our honeymoon at Elgon Hotel in Mbale Town,” Lydia recalls, momentarily getting lost in nostalgia. The young lovers relaxed and rested during which they also fulfilled their plans and dreams of touring places around Mbale and Bukedea districts.

It was Paul’s idea to also visit Bukedea because he had attended his earlier years of school there where he lived with his uncle so the memories must have tickled him into including it on their honeymoon trip.

Lydia was happy to travel to the Eastern districts because her father, a parish chief, had restricted them to living around Central Uganda where their family had been established.

She adds, “It was fun to go to Bukedea for about a week where we met the people my husband knew such as his Godparent Emoko.” At the time they wedded, they had started working and serving their country. He was a resident tutor staying in one of the flats where she joined him to start their matrimonial journey.

Lydia was a teacher at Makerere College School, so it was convenient that they only had to walk from the flats to their places of work.

Emulating role models

 As young lovers, they set out to have a marriage like their parents’ who were happily married and managed their homes as strong Christians.

As such, they subconsciously set out to have a marriage based on Christian principles. And when I ask the couple their secret to the six decades of marriage, they say they have relied on complete trust of each other, grooming their children into responsible and admirable people.

The couple  has five children; three boys and two girls. It was through one of their daughters, Solome Basuuta, a friend to this reporter, that this story was brought to fruition.

On September 14, 2023, she posted on X, formerly known as Twitter, “60 years in marriage today...What? Chei! In this generation to even reach five years is a miracle but I am thankful for the great example of my parents. It has been love, loyalty, commitment, consistency, grace, patience, being understanding, forgiveness, respect…eh,” the post read.

Basuuta added, “Happy 60th anniversary mum and dad, may your days continue to grow in more love and happiness…love you.” The couple’s closeness was further strengthened by common interests.

She used to perform at the National Theatre where he would go and watch her in action. She is an artist too, and her art pieces serve as decoration in the sitting room. She explains the detail in her art, largely portrayals of events in Ugandan history as well as social life and interactions.

While at it, Paul recounts the role his mother played in initiating their friendship, observing that it was a gradual process.

“I once visited their home, but it was a result of our mothers who knew each other having both attended Ndejje Girls’ School,” he recalls.

Later on, while he was a student at Makerere University, his mother suggested that he visits her friend (mother-in-law to-be) during one of the vacations. Lydia’s family lived in Gomba. When he visited, he met her mother as well as Lydia.

Fond of each other

They became friends and the relationship grew gradually over years to the extent that when he was going to England to study mathematics at Southampton University, they had to discuss the separation that was going to happen for two years.

The two agreed to remain communicating through snail mail because telephone calls were not practical like today. She observed that beyond the strong friendship, he was a good and polite man.

Along the way, the two had caught feelings for each other. Two years elapsed so fast and on his return, they started going out on dates at places such as Top Life to dance and Norman Cinema to watch films.

Lydia would utilise part of her time to sprint. She also competed in athletics for Mary Stuart Hall. He was there to watch and support her.

He says, “It was interesting watching her as I was not much active in sports.”

She explains, “Sports is a family interest. My brother, Benjamin Ndugga, ran for Uganda. I also did a lot of sprinting as a girl; 100 and 200 metres and 2000 metres. My younger brother, Sam Walusimbi, was on the National Cricket team.”

“We trusted one another and opened a joint bank account which is still active,” he says.

Holidays  and  times

In their evening years, the couple reminisces the past. Life’s journey has led them to different adventures.

“One holiday, we went to Nairobi, Kenya by car. Our friend, the late John Nagenda was working there for the Oxford Press. On the way, I remember a stone hit the wind screen around Nakuru. I had no money because I had not prepared for such big repairs,” Paul narrates.

He went to Barclays bank and asked for a loan and they agreed to charge his account in Kampala. He was able to fix the car and continued to Nairobi, had fun with Nagenda, toured places and drove back to Kampala.

Such holidays were a good time away because as he adds, Idi Amin’s regime affected them in different aspects, including the quality of marriage.

He explains: “It was hard to get basic needs such as powdered milk for children because they were very scarce. It was imported from Nairobi, and then followed the liberation war which had an impact on us.”

 “We took children to Buganda Road and Kitante primary schools amid security fears in town,” he adds. The liberation war intensified, and one time the father of five was in the house with children. His wife had gone to Nairobi to attend a wedding of her relatives.

A bomb fell in Makerere. It was a very scary moment. She had to stay there long until things normalised in Uganda.

The marriage journey of the Mugambi’s is a long one. To borrow the words of author, Criss Jami, “…take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.”

On the socials

On September 14, 2023, Solome Basuuta posted on X, formerly known as Twitter,

 “60 years in marriage today...What? Chei! In this generation to even reach five years is a miracle but I’m thankful for the great example of my parents. It has been love, loyalty, commitment, consistency, grace, patience, being understanding, forgiveness, respect…eh,” the post read.

Basuuta added, “Happy 60th anniversary mum and dad, may your days continue to grow in more love and happiness…love you.” The couple’s closeness was further strengthened by common interests.