Prime
SATIRE: Sheebah blames Umeme after ‘accidentally’ sauntering out naked
What you need to know:
- It was not immediately clear why she had brought up Cool’s name in this. She wasn’t enthusiastic when I tried to press her on the matter.
It wasn’t kimansulo (nude show), Sheebah smirked before seeing the light side to what had happened. She now grinned ear to ear like a bunny in a carrot basket and added: “Guy, it’s a long story.”
The singer was speaking exclusively to yours truly after social media went bonkers on Wednesday with revelations that she had appeared to briefly walk out into her compound stark naked before appearing to realise her gaffe and run back inside.
“Umeme can do things to you that even Cool will not understand,” she said.
It was not immediately clear why she had brought up Cool’s name in this. She wasn’t enthusiastic when I tried to press her on the matter.
However, she said she had been utterly shocked that in 2024, for a queen living in Munyonyo, she had gone without power for three days.
“Oh, that’s sad. How did you find out you had no power for three days?” I asked
Sheebah said she had noticed her blender refuse to work, her TV refuse to power on and her phone refuse to charge even as she tried all her three chargers.
It took her three days to realise that something was amiss. Her phone had blacked out by then.
“What happened is, the whole house was dark… I mean you know, like totally dark,” she said as she threw her hands in the air in exasperation.
“I really don’t know how to explain this but the thing is… I couldn’t even see the artificial nails I had on and it was very frustrating when the electric safe and electric wardrobe doors all started acting up.”
In the midst of frustration, Sheebah decided to go out and find out what was happening to her 2024 because she was sure she was alive. But to step out, she needed to wear the one thing she is most incomplete without – the matte lipstick.
The singer was looking for the lipstick when she lost her bearing and ended up outside thinking she was walking toward the reflection of a mirror.
“I was seeing light and I was like, why is my mirror not reflecting my image,” she said.
“Man, it was all so scary, so so scary, you can’t even imagine. So I walk toward what I see as the mirror… yeah, my mirror is big, full size like from there to there.”
She walked straight outside. Only then did she realise that it was daytime and that the ‘mirror’ she was walking toward was the daylight outside.
“Man, I was as sober as f….” she said. “Umeme, those guys did me dirty.”
Sheebah later went to a nearby kiosk and charged her phone. She said it was after powering her phone back on that she learnt that a cannula in Mulago is so good that “they make you wanna”.
Sheebah went on X and ranted at Umeme, a company she said she only learnt exists because until then, she thought that power in Uganda is provided by Yaka Powerbank Uganda Ltd.
“Yaka Powerbank Uganda Ltd? What’s that?” I asked.
Sheebah shrugged vaguely.
“It’s 2024 and I’m charging my phones at my neighbours’ kadduka.. me? Wow! In Munyonyo, what do you mean?” she posted tagging Umeme.
Apparently, someone tipped off Umeme that they had to save face because a vixen had been seen naked.
“I’ve seen her thighs many times before and thought I had seen it all but the brief moment she stepped out in Eve’s golden suit… I must attend her next show,” said a watermelon vendor in Munyonyo.
Sorry for those with unkempt curiosity and insatiable appetite for thighland, because no one was quick enough to take Sheebah’s photos. What more, the nearby CCTV cameras had been diverted to tracing the assailants of a cannula.
