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Satire: Why KPS must stop bringing unwashed kids to mingle with our rich ones
PHOTO:Illustration by Ivan.
What you need to know:
- The government started UPE for a reason. And KPS was started for a reason. That separation must stand. Period!
I grew up in Kakira and went to Kakira Primary Schools. Yes, in plural because there are many there under one roof. Together, these primary schools were designed to be abbreviated as KPS but you know the Madhvanis with being clever by a half. They instead added ‘estate’ to it and now it is KEPS.
Anyway, KEPS is just KPS, which someone with copycat syndrome decided to start in Kampala. I didn’t mind the imitation of Kakira so I decided to enrol my two kids to Kampala Primary School.
You see, I grew up acting myself as the cartoon inside sugarcane plantations because we had no access to TV. Now my kids speak in strange accents that they pick from Disney-whatevers.
I was convinced that at KPS, these kids would get their value for money and all was well until the owner of the school started taking in some unwashed rascals who think a chopstick is a murder weapon.
I hear Champions Ogudos, why must my kid, who goes on holiday in Miami, be sharing the same sky with such rascals?
At a time when some of us have made orders for choppers to turn KPS into St Andrew’s, Turi, our kids are being compelled to share classrooms with street urchins.
Does Champions Ogudos know the difference between a Boeing and Airbus? How can my kids comfortably discuss air turbulence and rotor speed with street kids who only know about kaveera and sewage?
This Ogudos, has he heard of St Andrew’s, Turi? I will explain. Someone better help him read this and translate for him for good measure.
St Andrew’s School, Turi, is an international boarding school in Nakuru, Kenya, offering learners the British curriculum in preparatory and secondary school. The school has an airstrip used to train students. One can also charter a flight to the school.
It is that school where the V-Day is dotted with several choppers and stuff that the Ogudos have never imagined existed.
After a parent complained, I saw someone on Twitter or X or whatever say something very ungrateful and stupid.
And I quote: “When you pay for a service, you don’t determine what the business owner uses his profits for. You are not a shareholder, you are a client. Your child will still get the service you paid for, the ghetto child will not take the one your child paid for.”
Sure, we the parents who pay fees using wire transfers instead of mobile money deposits know what we want for our children. Why must we be boxed into the same stinking kaveera with everyone when we can have our own world?
From KPS, the plan is to have a few high schools that only cater for our Disney kids. Soon Makerere will also have to do the same. And after that…
There is a need for an overhaul of the public sector. Our kids are learning how to run the economy, not how to impress nsenene hunters from Masaka during dingy concerts.
One of the reasons our economy continues to stagnate is having so many people like Ogudos in public service. These are chaps who steal everything to build their bad upbringing with pretentious wealth.
Real wealth like ours is natural and our kids cannot enter public service and steal. Steal what when they have everything they need? This is why we cannot allow our kids to be confused and retarded by these other rascals.
The government started UPE for a reason. And KPS was started for a reason. That separation must stand. Period!
