Families of missing learners torn between two emotions

Mr Kule’s 15-year-old son, Surprise Yunasi, has not been seen since suspected Allied Democratic Forces (ADF) rebels descended on Mpondwe-Lhubiriha Secondary School. That was on June 16. More than 40 students lost their lives after being bayoneted and their abode torched. Some of the students were burnt beyond recognition. A few others were reportedly abducted to help the rogue elements carry their loot to an undisclosed location.

For Mr Kule, the past three weeks have seen hope live alongside despair. Hope that Yunasi is probably among the abductees. Despair that he is among the charred remains being subjected to DNA tests.

“I urge the government to come forward and tell me where my child is. Personally, I cannot determine if he is dead or alive; it is up to the government to inform me. I feel hopeless now,” he said, his exasperation almost tangible.

He is not alone. Yunasi’s siblings have stopped attending school since the attack. They are torn between either being consumed by grief or hoping against hope that their brother will return home.

Cultural rituals
Since Bakonzo culture prohibits the family from resuming their daily activities until their missing loved one is found dead or alive, the Kules have little choice.

They find themselves trapped in a purgatory of sorts. The family’s patriarch has for the past three weeks spent approximately Shs3 million feeding the people camped at his home in a show of support. With Bakonzo culture barring him from engaging in agricultural activities or operating businesses, he has had to borrow to make ends meet.

“Everyday, we wake up and stay at home. In the beginning, we would gather around the fireplace because our culture prohibits family members from engaging in domestic work like digging. It goes against our customs,” he explained.

On June 29, they held a memorial service to honour Yunasi and allow some of their relatives to return to their homes. Additionally, they planted a fruit tree as a symbolic gesture of remembrance. It is a mourning that is not quite a mourning. A funeral that is not quite a funeral. 

Caught in-between 
There is no running away from the inbetweenness. Failure to perform these cultural rituals could result in “unrest and disturbances caused by the unsettled spirit of the missing person.”

“To honour our son’s memory, we decided to plant a fruit tree. Whenever that tree bears fruit, we will know that our son would have done the same for our family,” Mr Kule told Sunday Monitor, adding, “According to our culture, if we fail to do this by planting a fruit tree or a banana plant, his spirit may continue to disturb us, demanding a proper burial. If we neglect the spirit’s wishes, it may become angry and harm other family members or cause sickness.”

As the family eagerly awaits news from the government, questions continue to be posed.

Ms Juliet Masika, Yunasi’s mother, shared that she entrusted her son to the care of Mpondwe-Lhubiriha Secondary School after learning about it from a friend. She was particularly pleased about the affordable fees that were considerably less burdensome than what was previously paid.

“My son was previously studying at St Balyebuga Secondary School in Nyabirongo Village, Kisinga Sub-county, where we struggled to pay his school fees,” she recalls.

“However, on May 20, when I visited a friend, she informed me about a school that could support my son’s education. Since I couldn’t afford the fees for his first term on time, I was grateful for the generous individuals who offered assistance at this new school. I had no hesitation in entrusting my child to them,” she said.

Tragedy, however, struck on June 16 in the most gruesome of ways. Now Ms Masika keeps questioning the wisdom of her choices.

A tough wait
In the neighbouring village of Nyakaina, 16-year-old Juliet Biira Asiimawe is also missing. Mr Joward Muhindo Kithibitho, Asiimawe’s brother, explained that their mother has been unable to work since the incident due to cultural restrictions.

“Our father passed away when we were young, and our mother has been the sole provider, struggling to meet our basic needs with the help of our uncles,” he explained, adding, “Our mother is a businesswoman who sells various food items in the market. However, since June 16, she has been unable to work.”

The family is not permitted to engage in any activities until the missing child is found. This has caused food scarcity in their household, forcing the children to uproot groundnuts from the garden against cultural norms.

“We are not allowed to step into the garden to collect food, and as a result we have been without food in our house for two weeks. We had groundnuts in the garden that were almost going to waste since they were ready for harvest,” Kithibitho told Sunday Monitor. “As children, we decided to uproot them because we were told that our mother is not supposed to go to the garden according to our culture.”

Both families have undergone DNA testing, but none of the remains in the mortuary matched their samples. As a result, they are losing hope that their missing loved ones will be among the remaining unidentified bodies.

The families in Kasese continue to endure the anguish of uncertainty, bound by cultural traditions that restrict their daily lives until their missing children are found. They desperately await answers from the authorities, seeking closure and resolution to their heartbreaking ordeal.