Parenting:  Giving your child a second chance

It is not uncommon for our children to veer off course, making mistakes that leave us feeling disheartened and unsure of how to proceed.

One of the most touching challenges parents face is when their children make poor life decisions that jeopardise their education and wellbeing. 

Whether it is squandering school fees on frivolous activities, engaging in risky behaviours, frequenting night clubs, or neglecting their academic responsibilities, such situations can evoke a range of emotions, from anger to despair. 

At times, you diligently pay for university fees, accommodation, and meals, only to discover that your child did not attend classes. This realisation may not even surface until the time of graduation.

In the face of these challenges, parents need to maintain their composure and approach the situation with empathy and understanding. 

Rather than reacting impulsively, it is crucial to engage in open and honest dialogue with our children. 

Please listen attentively and seek to understand the root causes of their actions, so that we can gain valuable insights into their struggles and motivations.

It is important to remember that our children are not defined by their mistakes. 

Instead of condemning them or responding in anger, we must offer them forgiveness and the opportunity for redemption. 

Just as the father in the parable of the prodigal son welcomed his wayward child with open arms, we too must extend grace and compassion to our children, even in their darkest moments (Luke 15:11:32).

For children facing challenges such as substance abuse or behavioural issues, seeking professional help and guidance can be instrumental in facilitating positive change. 

Rehabilitation centres and counselling services can provide the support and resources needed to help our children overcome their struggles and forge a new path forward.

I implore parents to never withhold the opportunity for their children to continue pursuing education despite their mistakes. Delaying intervention may lead to irreversible consequences. 

Providing guidance and motivation for a return to school is crucial in parenting, a task that demands resilience to navigate numerous challenges.

Utilise impartial or non-judgmental skills to prevent bias initially. Treat your child with the same care you would desire for yourself if you were in their position. 

In the event of a pregnancy, support your daughter throughout the pregnancy and upon delivery, ensure she returns to school. 

Upon successful completion of her education and securing employment, she will be better equipped to care for her child independently, alleviating the need for regular financial and housing assistance from you.

Above all, it is essential to entrust our children to God and have faith in their ability to overcome adversity. As stated in Psalm 127:3-4, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him…” God has plans for them that may exceed your current understanding. 

Therefore, dedicate time to regularly pray for them, and their future will be secure. 

By relinquishing control and placing our trust in God’s plan, we can find solace and strength in Him.

I assure you, that giving our children a second chance requires patience, understanding, and unwavering support. 

By approaching parenting with grace and resilience, we can help our children navigate life’s challenges and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before. 

Let us never underestimate the power of forgiveness and redemption, for it is through these acts of love that we can truly transform our children’s lives for the better.

Mr Dickson Tumuramye, Executive Director of Hope, Regeneration  Africa.