Planning with children this school holiday

As the school holiday starts, many parents find themselves facing a familiar dilemma of how to keep their children engaged and productive. It is easy for parents to slip into the routine of assigning tasks to their children without much thought.

Few of us ever sit with these children and plan together. Often, children perceive household chores as a form of coercion rather than a shared responsibility. They may comply out of fear of repercussions rather than a genuine understanding of the value of work. 

As parents, it is essential to recognise the potential consequences of this dynamic. Children who feel coerced or compelled to perform the tasks may look at it as a burden and develop feelings of resentment, self-doubt, and even self-harm. 

It is even worse if you are not the biological parent. The child looks at all this as mistreatment with the mindset of “...because I am not your own child.” Just be sure that the output and quality cannot be the same as someone doing something out of free will and choice. Children need to feel valued, respected, and empowered within their family dynamic, and this begins with involving them in the planning process.

So, how can parents effectively engage their children in planning for the school holiday? It starts with open communication and active listening. Instead of simply dictating tasks and activities, take the time to sit down with your children and solicit their input. Encourage them to share their thoughts, ideas, and preferences for how they would like to spend their time. 

Sit them down and solicit their ideas for this holiday. The best approach is to first listen to each individual either through a clear and smart written work plan or they verbally outline everything. From that point, you agree on what each individual will do. 

You will be surprised how much each child will tell you or what in their caucus they already agreed upon. It is here that other skills of prioritising the activities and budgeting come in. Some of these activities need money.  Ask them how they intend to finance them if it is not mentioned. 

If some of the activities are beyond your family budget, ask about their financing plan. Now work on the budget together. Discuss issues of income and expenditure. Teach them how to plan well and live within their means. Ask them to prioritise the most important activities that must be done beginning from the most urgent to the least. 

Again, you are already tackling the skills of decision-making, time management, critical thinking, lobbying, negotiation, and creativity, among others. 

You may choose to ask them what they will contribute to activities that need money. The culture of savings and investment and managing their income and expenses will become vital in their mind. You are also able to tell who is good at what. Who doesn’t like work? Who is full of complaints? Who is a good planner, organiser, team player, etc. Your advice will be well received when the choice of activities is fully shared. And you may not struggle to monitor what is being done because it is all well planned.

You may already have a strategic plan as a family or individual children have theirs. This should be considered as some activities and budgets could already be in place and known by everyone. Or this could be an opportunity to monitor and make an evaluation of the progress. 

After you are done with planning for the school holiday, remember to ask them to write a timetable or work plan detailing activities, timeframe, person responsible and potential consequences for non-compliance. 

You can also include rewards for best performance so that your children grow up knowing that hard work pays well and you can be recognised in the future by your employer and colleagues. This will inspire your children to work hard, love work, and perform to their best. Don’t forget to monitor or supervise them, demand accountability, and take action on poor performers, especially when all this was agreed upon during planning. Make every holiday unique as you plan. Your children have all these ideas on how to make every holiday different. Just allow them to innovate ideas and take charge and you only become their facilitator, not a boss. 

I wish you the happiest school holidays.

Dickson Tumuramye, Executive Director of Hope Regeneration Africa, parenting coach, marriage counsellor and founder of Men of Purpose mentorship programme.