My girlfriend is lazy and wants to live as if she is single

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for two years, but we do not have any children. I work day shifts one week and night shifts the next. Recently, I used my savings to start a business for her because she was not working. However, she has become lazy and only wants to sleep. She does not cook or do any house chores and when I come home hungry, I have to cook for myself. When I talk to her about it, she says I should also help out. The business is failing because she prefers to sleep until 1pm and then open at 2pm. She only works until around 5pm and then prepares for outings with her friends. I feel as though she is not ready for a commitment and still wants to live a single life. Should I end the relationship? Anonymous

It seems as though you are going through a challenging time. Being in a loving relationship is wonderful, especially when you both see eye to eye on most things. However, trying to control your partner’s behaviour can be difficult, even when you are in love.

Your girlfriend’s lack of effort in keeping up with household responsibilities, business commitments, and her obligations to you is causing strain in the relationship. It is important to remember that behaviour does not happen in a vacuum. Your girlfriend might be dealing with emotional issues affecting her motivation to fulfil these responsibilities.

Unmanaged stress can significantly impact someone’s approach to work. Your girlfriend may be going through personal struggles that she has not shared with you. It is also a possibility that she is unhappy in the relationship but has not found the right way to communicate it.

Both of you need to evaluate your relationship together and see if your long-term and short-term goals are aligned. This can help you understand what you are willing to accept from each other.

Try talking to your girlfriend in a non-confrontational manner and ask her to share her perspective on why she is been starting work much later. Express how her behaviour makes you feel and be specific about the actions that are causing stress in the relationship. If her behaviour is due to physical or mental health challenges, offer your support in seeking treatment.

Suggest seeking professional counselling together as a way to openly discuss your relationship issues in a non-judgmental environment. This could create an opportunity for relationship counselling.

Taking care of your mental health is crucial. If the situation regarding household responsibilities and the business does not improve, it may be time to reassess the relationship.

Set clear boundaries and communicate your expectations regarding the business, household chores, and personal time. Remember, your happiness and well-being are important. If you find that you cannot agree on major aspects of the relationship, take the time to make a well-informed decision. Ultimately, you will need to make a decision that is balanced and considers everyone’s well-being.

READER ADVICE

End the relationship

Generous Nakie.

Why is it that genuine people are unlucky when it comes to love? What are you still doing with her? What exactly do you love about her? You are creating headaches and heartache for yourself. You should leave that broke, lazy, ‘slay queen’ as soon as possible because she is not going to change

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Talk to your girlfriend

Harriet Sheryl.

This woman landed on a responsible man but she is about to regret treating him like rubbish. Before you end the relationship, please give her one last chance. Sit her down, and openly tell her that you are soon letting go of her if she does not change her ways. If she is lazy now, what will happen if children come into the picture? Remind her that so many other women out there are praying for a caring man and she should appreciate your efforts by changing her behaviour.

You have your answer

Bartholomew Diaz Nsubuga..

The fact that you are asking other people if you should end the relationship is a reflection of your inner thoughts. Dating a lazy woman is equivalent to unemployment. Leave before it becomes worse.

Learn and leave

Nipra Mubiru..

She is exactly like my girlfriend. I am now thinking of looking for a serious woman who knows that a relationship can only thrive when two partners work together to support each other.

Leave before pregnancy

Benson Mwaka Funi.

Most women nowadays think the only contribution they can offer in a relationship is sex. Leave before you get her pregnant because then, you will be stuck with her for life.

Make your decisions

Charles Osire. You do not know what you want in Life. If you knew you would not be seeking advice from us. Anyway, learn to make decisions for your good.

She is a toxic person

Rosie Prince. I cannot imagine a relationship without trust, loyalty and honesty. If I were the one, I would have walked away a long time ago. But again, why would anyone live a double life? She is a dangerous and toxic woman.

Date older woman

Charlotte A Cherlyl.

She must be below 25 years of age. Get an older woman who knows what she wants. You are only wasting your time and she does not see a future with you.

Do not force love

Cassy Mlord.

Let that situation help you figure out the kind of woman you want in your life. Clearly, the one you have now is not the right one for you. Stop forcing yourself to love someone who does not love you.

She is not married

Sharmmy Maseko.

Let her enjoy her life, she is not married

Evelyn Khorono Lufafa is a counselling psychologist with Sermotherapy Counselling Foundation