Over wine, the CDF and Trump can alter their standpoints by talking about how the they tweet alike. Then they could get into the possibility of the CDF and Trump writing one another’s tweets.
Mzee recently held a meeting with the US ambassador to Uganda. The unconfirmed meeting took place at State House Entebbe.
It turns out that the US ambassador is not as Popp-ular in State House as one would assume. Sure, being from the US, we assumed our leaders would gel with the ambassador. That’s because US politics seems to be in even worse shape than Ugandan politics.
So our leaders and the US ambassador could compare notes on who’s the best of the worst. Whoever wins that matchup, however, will have to contend with the possible storming of the United States Capitol Building by Trumpites or the rushing to the bush by Mzee himself.
Politics is full of sore losers. But as someone once said, “Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.”
So maybe winners are just losers who decided they were going to change the narrative. Never again would they accept defeat.
That is why Uganda and America are ruled by old folk, they have refused to let age defeat them. Age is just a number, after all.
Yet, as we age, our days are numbered. It is really a question of mathematics. And from where some of us are standing, the relationship between the US ambassador and Mzee does not add up. It simply subtracts from the notion that Uganda will ever be a penal colony and Sean “Diddy” Combs will eventually be jailed here.
Besides, the ambassador has an illustrious past. He earned his BA magna cum laude from Westminster College, Fulton, Missouri. It was at the ambassador’s alma mater that Sir Winston Churchill delivered his famous “Iron Curtain” speech on March 5, 1946.
World War II had just ended. But its aftermathematics, if you will, cast a shadow long over the post-war world. “The Sinews of Peace,” the title Churchill himself gave his address, is where the term “iron curtain” came from to define a notional barrier separating the former Soviet bloc and the West.
He also coined the term “special relationship,” describing the enduring alliance between the United States and Great Britain.
These two terms could describe Uganda and America’s future together. There could be an iron curtain drawn between the two countries or there could be a special relationship. Yet, to be fair, all the curtains that I have seen are made of cotton, linen, polyester, silk, wool, rayon, acrylic, and viscose. If I ever saw an iron curtain, that would certainly be special.
So even a bitter relationship between the US and Uganda can be special if US musician Beyoncé Knowles becomes US president. Her song XO, from her self-titled fifth studio album, is all both countries need to get along. To those who don’t know, XO means hugs and kisses.
Imagine Ugandans and Americans hugging and kissing, on a mass scale. As the hugs and kisses end, the two peoples would leave each other’s embrace. And Ugandans would find themselves in America, while Americans would wind up in Uganda. If we are talking about where each people end up based on where each people can potentially make the most money.
At any rate, the US ambassador should take the CDF out for a drink. Of course, water should be included, but only as part of much stronger drinks. Over altar wine, the two can alter their standpoints by talking about how the CDF and Trump tweet alike. And then they could get into the possibility of the CDF and Trump writing one another’s tweets, not unlike how two lovers complete each other’s sentences.
The CDF and Trump together is one “Two” many expendables, just ask Sylvester Stallone. If he thought they were a good fit, he would have cast them already. But here we are. Both the CDF and Trump do not have any movie roles and US ambassador is acting up like he’s Will.i.am and not William. At least according to State House, which has never heard of Will.i.am.
