While MP Tony is a good fighter who finishes every sentence with the words, “I will box you”. If we’re to weigh who is tougher between him and Bobi, then the Kamwokyan wins.
MP ‘Tony’ Akol says he’s only representing Kilak North because he always sends his opponents south. As they go crashing to the canvas, he dances with his arms aloft over their prone bodies.
If he were representing Kilak South, he sadly admits, the tables might have changed and he would be the one on the business end of several approaching fists. The MP says he is ready to teach the country how he taught Zaake a lesson in the boxing ring otherwise known as Parliament.
The MP says he is willing to demonstrate what special skills one must deploy to slap the red off a political opponent. He has already asked Mzee to allow him join the 29 Special Forces Command (SFC) commandos who excited guests at the last independence celebrations.
The MP will join these commandos at the next independence celebrations. The next celebrations, he says, will be even bigger. He is a self-described ‘elephant’, so he knows everything about size. But that is not the only reason they will be bigger.
Tony plans to arrive with the whole of Mityana District to where the celebrations are going to be held. Mityana will be his Plus-One hundred and five thousand.
If the celebrations are in Mityana, Mityanans can arrive by themselves, for themselves but not of themselves. Since these constituents will be of the opinion that their most well-known MP, the one that spells the word ‘president’ as Bobi, should be beaten up once more. The more, the merrier.
All told, this merriment will be shared by everyone who likes to see punches in bunches held together by a bouquet of rage, delivered by MP Tony. His name, Tony, already consists of a toe and a knee. So he is likely to deploy both with a declaratory kiii-yaaa, when he’s giving MP Franco another episode of crazy.
Relatedly, NUP has set up a grudge match with the MP at the next elections. They say the MP is in the employ of Mzee.
This is not new. There has always been a controlled Opposition. In fact, much of the Opposition has splintered from the NRM. They are great people who created the NRM in their own image, and then Mzee recreated them in his own image.
This is why they are beating up a man whose punching power is defined by its absence. Similar to how Mzee went to the bush to take on a government defined by its ability to be punched drunk.
Mzee, it is believed, hopes to use the beating of Franco to send a message to NUP members. That they will all get knuckle sandwiches if they do not want to eat off the State House menu.
And what a menu it is, with starters like 500 million for every parliamentary commissioner who wants to take on the NUP principal in a shouting match. They should forget a boxing match though. Bobi is a bad man from Kamwokya. Before he cut off his Rasta locks, even the government dreaded him.
While MP Tony is a good fighter who finishes every sentence with the words, “I will box you”. If we’re to weigh who is tougher between him and Bobi, then the Kamwokyan wins.
That’s because Bobi’s artillery is way more superior when compared to Tony’s. He has fists that hit, and songs that hit. And to those unaware, when you take a puff of weed it is called ‘a hit’. So all those hits in the bad man’s favour are sure to remind the ‘Elephant’ that any fight between him and Bobi would turn him into Zaake.
Still, Bobi versus Tony would be interesting, even though they are in different weight classes. You know, one of them being an elephant and the other being elephantine.
A banana-blue former MP of Aruu County is already buying up ringside seats, in case there’s a red corner and a blue corner. He wants to see MP Tony go down, paka chini. Because politics is ultimately a dance involving those who can and those who wish they could. Both of them have left feet, south of where MP Tony is from.
