Shallon Twongirwe’s family initially refused to accept Gerald Segawa as their daughter’s chosen partner. Photo/COURTESY
When Shallon Twongirwe decided to marry Gerald Segawa, she knew she had to give her family, who had refused to accept him, reasons why he was the right man for her.
“My parents complained I was marrying a Muganda, who was also Catholic. Being Anglican and Banyankole, they were against the relationship,” she says.
However, Twongirwe told them about Segawa’s patience and the respect he had for her. She also told them about the many other positive attributes he possesses that made her believe he was the one.
“One of the most important reasons is that he is hardworking. I knew he will take care of me and our children. Although I knew marriage was a big change, I was ready because I had found the right partner,” she says.
Two weeks after she had asked Segawa to meet her parents, he received a call from her maternal uncle.
“When we met, the first thing he did was look me up and down. I was so uncomfortable but later eased the tension by talking about the elephant in the room; visiting Twongirwe’s family,” Segawa recalls. He adds, however, that he was upset that his parents were not given a cordial audience with Twongirwe’s relatives to discuss their marriage plans and eventually, their wedding.
“Often they skipped the “go between” and talked to me directly, which compromised my decision making at times,” he recalls.
He adds that even though his family fulfilled their part of the agreement, Twongirwe’s family did not give them any gifts that are usually given to a daughter to help her start her own family. This, he says, was a way of showing that he was not truly welcome to the family.
Segawa later discovered that Twongirwe’s family did not initially approve of him. He is grateful to her because she stood her ground and fought for their relationship. He believes he would have never pursued the relationship had he known about the family’s disapproval beforehand.
How they met
On Easter Monday 2021, while riding on a boda boda on his way to visit a friend, Gerald Segawa, a psychologist’s motorcycle broke down. He was left with two choices; either to get another boda boda or take a taxi. He opted for the latter.
On his way to the taxi park, he noticed Twongirwe, a businesswoman who was waiting for a taxi to go home after work. Gerald was immediately interested and asked for her number, but she declined. They both boarded the same taxi and coincidentally got off at the same stop to go shopping at the same supermarket; Gerald for his friend and Shallon for her home.
Despite initially declining, Segawa insisted on giving Twongirwe his phone number. To get her number, he insisted she calls, and then saved her number.
When Gerald called Twongirwe, she claimed not knowing who he was but he patiently recounted their earlier meeting and conversation. Eventually, after two weeks, she agreed to meet him, although she was clear about wanting to just be friends.
A year later, Segawa expressed his desire to take their relationship to the next level, but Twongirwe asked for more time. To ensure her intentions were genuine, after a past experience of dating someone who was just after his money, Segawa enlisted friends to spy on Twongirwe.
He recieved mostly positive feedback, which gave him the assurance that she was indeed disciplined and the right woman for him.
When she declined to move in with him, Segawa started looking for an alternative plan. He prayed and sought guidance from friends, family, and religious leaders, eventually returning to Twongirwe after six months. He demonstrated his sincerity, and she communicated what she needed for their relationship to progress.
Wedding plans
After meeting his parents and agreeing on the wedding, Twongirwe had to start learning all about the Catholic faith. Every Sunday for three months, she went for catechism until she got confirmed.
“But because I had decided to become a Catholic, I had to go through everything. In marriage, you cannot have everything go your way. There is sacrifice and some things have to be accepted, especially when you love the person and have agreed to spend the rest of your life with them,” she says, adding that during that time, they also went for premarital counselling.
Wedding
Initially, Segawa wanted a small wedding of not more than 50 people but Twongirwe was against it.
So, they started planning a bigger function. They tried hiring a wedding planner, but later discovered it was too expensive. In the end, they decided to get involved in planning the wedding themselves.
Segawa’s friend from the Netherlands helped pick the gown and suits while most cars were offered by friends. Because they decided to get involved in planning their own wedding, the couple were able to reduce the budget from Shs88m to Shs45m.
Unfortunately, since Segawa’s friend was in charge of getting the wedding gown, Twongirwe did not get it until the morning of the wedding. Thankfully, it fit perfectly.
On August 26 last year, the couple walked down the isle at the Uganda Martyrs Basilica in Munyonyo and had their reception at Motiv, Kampala.
“It was a mix of joy and anxiety. Before the church session, I started wondering, what next? Anything can happen. When we finally exchanged our vows, I relaxed knowing that she was now mine and my wife forever,” Segawa recalls.
Honeymoon
Segawa was not interested in going for a honeymoon, and Twongirwe did not insist. However, Segawa’s best friend insisted that they go, believing it would mark the start of their new journey.
“We decided to go to Luxembourg to relax and reflect on the journey we had started and our future,” he says.
Advice
The couple’s advice for other couples is to take time to learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses, which will come in handy when you start living together and start a family. One should also love and respect their partner’s family, which the couple says will greatly benefit the relationship.
‘‘My parents initially disapproved of me marrying a Muganda. They were opposed to our union, but I made them understand our love, and eventually, they accepted it,’’ she says.
The couple also advises couples to never underestimate the importance of small achievements in a relationship. Start small and believe that working together, you will be able to achieve everything you want as a couple.
